Stop Making Headway, Start Making Heart-Way
Written By Guy Ferdman
Why you may want to give up on your head if you want to make headway.
Let me explain…
I was on a training call with approximately 60 entrepreneurs (something my brother and I do on a monthly basis for various organizations) and I let this statement slip from my mouth, “Stop trying to make headway and start learning to make HEART way.” It caught me off guard.
Here’s why —
I often find that while people are struggling to find success there are a few underlying constraints that are contributing factors to their struggle:
- Lack of personal belief.
- Confusion and frustration.
- Personal judgments based on social imprinting.
- A lack of self-worth.
This last one is the big one. A lack of self-worth is rampant in our society as well as globally and I’d like to take a shot at explaining to you why this happens.
When a stimulus in your environment reacts with your system (i.e. your mental, physical, or emotional body), the system responds with a sensation. The mind fixates on the sensations and offers a perception of the event. The perception is a direct reflection of your personal vantage point which is determined by the survival identity that has been created over many decades of trial and error.
From a very young age, we all use trial and error as our testing ground to understand what works for us in trying to achieve feelings of survival, safety, love and connection, social approval, etc. From this place, the strategies we apply slowly become the patterns that become deeply ingrained in our neural pathways. Eventually, they become automated processes that run in the background of our awareness strewn into the deepest recesses of our subconscious patterning.
Personal inner work becomes key to having a comprehensive awareness of your patterns in order to be able to change them if you’re looking to create more headway in your life. Aligned awareness becomes the heart-way path to this. It is not about becoming so powerful, so aware, that you actually defeat or control parts of yourself. It’s actually the opposite. One cannot be whole by divesting parts of who they are (i.e. anger, sadness, depression) and concluding they can reach enlightenment as long as those aspects are not part of the final product.
This is a fool’s errand.
If you’ve experienced emotional turmoil frustration during your time here on Earth, then guess what? These experiences and emotions are baked into your system, they are going nowhere.
Yes, your anger, sadness, depression, judgments — they’re here for life, and they’re not going anywhere. Like all evolutionary attributes, they serve a purpose. As a society, we seem to misunderstand this and as a result, it’s caused great pain for a great many.
For those of you trying to “overcome” aspects of yourself (like anger, depression, anxiety, etc.) by trying to control them…how is that going? Are you less angry? Are you less sad? Do you feel like you have more control or less?
The truth is every time an experience happens to you; it’s happening for you. I’m sure you’ve heard this cliche before.
Give it a thought, the experience is literally being pulled towards you and manifesting itself into physical reality based on the frequency and vibration of your present consciousness. Now before your mind checks out thinking about woo-woo energy, look into the science-based findings of Bruce Lipton’s work on epigenetics, Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work, and any simple Google search on epigenetics can support what I’m saying. Nikola Tesla was quoted saying, “If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration.” He also said, “My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe, there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength, and inspiration. I have not penetrated into the secrets of this core, but I know that it exists.”
When you mention ENERGY to most people their eyes slightly role back and they think you’re about to hand them a large plate of salted bullshit. But if you look at it through the eyes of science, there is a lot of overlapping truth and this is where we are heading. The place where science and what we’ve called “magic” for many years are beginning to blur and merge so that we can begin experiencing ourselves in new and exciting ways.
Approach this with an open mind and see if you can follow…
A negative experience happens. Inside your body, a sensation begins brewing. Your mind, like a vigilant hawk, begins to fixate on the sensation. Your mind then tells you a story that is congruent with how you perceive reality.
This isn’t the truth per se, just a version of reality that is distorted.
The attempt of this story is to buffer you from the overwhelm, stress, and anxiety that is brewing up in your system.
A failed attempt at metabolizing this energy force that is now coursing through you.
From this fixed distorted place we fall into our automated survival patterns. We’ve built these patterns over years of applying a similar (if not the same) strategy to a stimulus that makes us feel overwhelmed, anxious, or unsafe. Everything we see and experience henceforth is determined by this patterned distortion in an attempt to bring our system back to homeostasis.
Thing is, for most humans they never actually fall out of these patterns. They live in a constant state of fight or flight as they haven’t been taught how to relax their system and activate the parasympathetic nervous system which takes them out of this heightened state of fear and anxiety.
The distorted reality is what we begin to interact with through a hijacked mind (so to speak). We become unable to relax the (nervous) system and fight-or-flight overwhelms our senses, creating continued anxiety and stress.
Most people in these moments reach for food, drugs, sex, alcohol or some other external pill to attempt to contain this energy and relax the system. The term “it takes the edge off” is often used to describe an attempt at soothing the system from an external stimulus.
When we are presented with a life experience that is hard to deal with, the tendency is to deny the emotions, sensations, and energy moving through our body. We tend to tense up, avoid, push-down, close up, brace for impact or bypass what we’re feeling. More simply put, we are uncomfortable dealing with the energy that is building up, we assign it as a nuisance of discomfort.
This is a mistake and programs your subconscious to believe negative patterns.
This is what sends the signal from your brain to your body essentially signaling over and over again, “I’m not worthy (of this experience).”
I’m not worthy of my anger.
I’m not worthy of this sadness.
I’m not worthy of getting complimented.
I’m not worthy of having that body.
And so on.
We reinforce this countless times throughout the day because we haven’t been taught how to feel and be present in the moment. We’ve been told a whole bunch of BS about what a good human is supposed to be like…
Boys don’t cry… Lie.
Girls feel too much (are too emotional)…Lie.
We were told a million and one false truths passed down from one generation to the next. No one is to blame for this. Everyone is essentially doing the best they can. Even your parents – whatever they passed down to you was passed to them, and usually in a more extreme and more severe way than you experienced. After coaching tens of thousands of people, it’s really apparent that everyone is doing the best they can with the information and experiences they have.
Given how many of us are basically stuck in a state of fight or flight most of the day, in a belief that resiliency and effort is the only way to make it through life — it is a miracle most people get up at all into this reality we’ve accidentally created. This tells you so much about the human spirit and its incredible ability. We keep going, even when we are lost in the dark.
So let’s say for example, that you’ve reaffirmed to your subconscious for decades this “I’m not worthy” programming. Then, let’s say you start a business or a passion project. You want to generate a million dollars or impact a million people.
You scream to the heavens and plead how WORTHY you are to receive the experiences, people, and manifested circumstances into your reality. You create vision boards, write down your goals, and chant to yourself all day long about how you can do it — but still, little to nothing changes.
You end up disgruntled and disappointed when it doesn’t turn out.
Of course, it is nearly impossible for this to come to pass when the frequency and vibration of your body are set to “I’m not worthy” and has been reaffirmed by you for decades, regardless of the mantra’s you’re playing on repeat in your mind.
I don’t care how many books you’ve read on personal development or the law of attraction. The book won’t change that vibration in your body. It’s nearly impossible to manifest anything beyond what you have right now because YOU unintentionally programmed yourself to not be able to receive. So many struggling generations before you did just the same.
Mindset work alone is not nearly enough to get most of us to where we want to be or how we really want to feel. Understanding does not equal wisdom. To quantum shift your reality and become a manifestation machine one must have first-hand life experiences and then, to live through the experiences without judgment at all, in complete surrender and embrace what life has presented you with. The energy of the body can teach you what it’s like to have a new frequency when no judgment is passed and you can simply be with whatever emotions or sensations arise. This incredible wisdom is natural and effortless to you.
If you wish to heal and tackle even the most traumatic events, to open yourself up to receive, to be able to manifest a life that is so much bigger than most people allow themselves to imagine, then this path of running towards your feelings is a suitable one, one I strongly recommend. To earn your worth and serve humanity, one gets to enter the realm of energy and sensation. The realm of the subtle and casual. Otherwise, you may find yourself asking, “didn’t I deal with this already?” or “why is this happening to me again?”
Both indicators that you’re in the entrapment of the mind.
When this happens, notice that the feeling in your body is just as it was before. Notice that the frequency is still there as it always is, that the energy is moving in the same pattern as it usually does. The discomfort, the worry, the contraction, and the bracing for the impact all might be very present in your body. Notice that it’s YOU that is pulling this manifested reality into your personal experience…a thought that may be hard to swallow at first.
A word to comfort you, while you may be responsible for what you see and experience before you this does not mean that you are at fault. These are separate realms and the collapse of the two distinctions often leads people to not acknowledge that they are the source of their own experience.
It is only when we choose to be intimate with ourselves in this new way, accept all of life, and acknowledge that all parts of ourselves MUST come with us on the ride in order to feel whole, safe, and connected. It’s only from this place of full embrace that judgment can begin to loosen its hold. From this place, we stop having a distorted view of reality and of those around us. It’s from this place that we find our inner peace and alignment.
It’s time to shift.
I honor the mindset and personal development space. It radically changed my life over and over again. Yet now I see that there is something so much deeper — something I’ve invested the last years inquiring about deeply within myself. I see how the mind can be a trap, an endless loop of energy. The mind is great at seeing and understanding how to use raw materials. It can take things apart and put them back together in different ways, but the mind doesn’t generate new frequencies. It uses the existing ones to continue to create with them.
The greatest scientific and artistic minds express that “EUREKA” moments don’t happen when they invest their time thinking, they happen when they are in flow states and a natural and sudden inspiration comes through that gives way to the wisdom they sought after. When we inquire for long periods of time, we channel our subtle energy awareness into the greater intelligent field, and the field responds with experiences that teach us the lessons and give us the eyes and wisdom to see and finally understand that which we wanted to learn.
The greatest teachings that have survived millennia, discoveries, and philosophies have been discovered this way. We now can acknowledge that we get to bring the mind into a new understanding, it was never meant to be the master of the house — it’s the servant of the true master — the heart. Right now we have a world created by the mind. The world of tomorrow will be created by the heart and its relationship to the mind.
So I say to you again dear reader, so many of us are trying to make headway using our head and it’s for this reason that we can not. We’re trapped here. It is in choosing the path of the heart — the HEART-way — the felt sensation way that we evolve faster than we ever imagined, bring our gifts online, feel safe, connected, and loved in ways that most can not yet imagine because we have not yet personally experienced it.
I invite you to explore yourself in a new way. Even if you don’t know how to get started, that’s okay. Inquire about your own needs. What are they? How can you fulfill these needs? Maybe you haven’t considered this at all. Ask yourself, how can I begin to feel (fully) again? What have I been avoiding in my own body all these years? How does my mind respond and react when I’m overwhelmed? Can I see a pattern of how things unfold in my life?
These questions will naturally bring forth experiences to answer your own truth (the only truth that matters), to assist you in finding your alignment. As I said, it’s a fool’s mission to try to separate characteristics and aspects of humanity from yourself. You are a spiritual entity, yes. You also chose the human experience, and specifically YOUR HUMAN EXPERIENCE well before you had a thought or uttered your first word. This is your path. This is your mission and destiny. This is your body with its own sensations, fixations, and distortions.
If you want to find YOUR TRUTH, then you get to lift the fog of the distortions that you have accidentally inherited. You get to free yourself from bondage. You get to feel everything this life has to offer you. Because you are free to choose to do so. Because regardless of your life circumstances you are a sovereign being and within you lies freedom that NO ONE and NOTHING can take away.
To access freedom, learn to feel. Embrace reality as it is. Embrace yourself as you are. A world of enlightened manifestation awaits those with the courage to follow the unfolding path of faith. I invite and welcome my brothers and sisters to this beautiful journey.
See you on the path.